Hidden Struggles & Tips for Coping

I know because I’ve been there. The emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion that comes with caring for an aging parent can feel impossible to manage. It sneaks up on you. One day you’re juggling work, family, and the normal busyness of life and the next, you’re navigating medical appointments, memory lapses, and conversations about safety, independence, and dignity.

Even the strongest among us can be blindsided by the weight of elder care. Think of Tony Soprano, the fictional mob boss who could manage empires and handle high stakes yet still is undone by the quiet, seemlingly relentless pressures at home. Caregiving has a way of shaking even the most capable people, because it pulls on more than our schedules. It pulls on our identity, our emotions, our relationships, and our sense of control.

This is what I call the Adolescence of Aging that confusing, in-between season where roles are shifting, independence is wobbling, and both parent and adult child are trying to figure out what comes next. It’s sticky, tricky, and often downright icky, because there’s no roadmap and no clear finish line. Just layers of uncertainty, loss, and love.

For a long time, I thought I had to shoulder it all alone. But eventually, I found my way to support a counselor who gave me tools, friends who listened without judgment, a community of others walking the same path. That changed everything. The chaos didn’t disappear, but I no longer carried it by myself.

That’s the real key takeaway: you don’t have to suffer in silence. Thriving in the chaos doesn’t mean having it all figured out. It means having people, tools, and truth-tellers around you to help carry the weight.

So if you’re struggling with this challenge, don’t wait until you hit the breaking point. Reach out. Find your circle. And know this, you are not alone.

👉 What’s one part of caregiving that feels sticky, tricky, or icky for you right now? Share it in the comments—your story may be the reminder someone else desperately needs today.

Looking for more support while navigating the squeeze? Grab a copy of our book Thriving in Chaos: Navigating the Challenges of Aging Parents on Amazon.