Why “Caregiver” Makes Me Cringe

We have never liked the word “caregiver.” It makes us think of a volunteer with a clipboard, or someone who has all the time in the world to gently tend to someone else’s needs. That’s not what’s happening here. Adult children supporting aging parents are doing emotional heavy lifting that doesn’t fit neatly into a job description. It’s messy. It’s complicated. And it often comes with more yelling than soft violin music.

Here’s the kicker: according to AARP, there are 63 million Americans in this role right now. Sixty-three million. That’s more than the entire population of Italy. And most of us don’t even have a name for what we’re actually doing. We’re defaulting to “caregiver,” which sounds noble but also isolating.

What if, instead, we called ourselves “care partners”? A partner is someone you’re with in the thick of it. It implies give and take. It suggests this isn’t charity work, it’s a relationship. Words matter. And if we keep calling ourselves “givers,” we’ll keep feeling drained, depleted, and resentful. But “partner”? That’s different. That’s active. That’s together. That’s a role you can survive and maybe even grow in.

Want some company? Tune into the People in the Squeeze Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. It is like having a conversation with a good friend, sharing stories, tears, and of course giggles on the insanity of this moment. Join us!

Want to power up - then grab a copy of our book Thriving in Chaos: Navigating the Challenges of Aging Parents on Amazon. We also have a companion reflection journal to capture all the goodness and learnings!


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Naked & Afraid: The Caregiving Jungle

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The High Price of Silence