When Your Mom Turns Into a Teenager

If you’ve ever tried to take away your dad’s car keys, or convince your mom she shouldn’t be wiring money to strangers, you know exactly what I mean: aging parents can start acting like teenagers. Moody, stubborn, defiant. The very people who once grounded you are suddenly the ones slamming metaphorical doors and insisting they know best.

And it’s brutal. Families implode over this stage. Siblings stop speaking. Parents and children get locked in battles of control. It’s not just emotional whiplash, it’s financial too. One in five caregivers, according to AARP, can’t even afford their own basic needs because the strain of supporting a parent pulls them under.

So let’s pause and notice the word we’re using for ourselves: caregiver. Giver of care. Donor of time. Bestower of effort. It sounds noble, but it also sounds like martyrdom. What if instead we called ourselves care partners? Partner suggests that we’re navigating this adolescence of aging together. It reminds us to protect the relationship, not just the logistics.

And when you hold on to the relationship, you keep the possibility of joy. Because even in the chaos, there can be laughter. There can be fun. And there can be moments worth remembering, not just a record of what you “gave.”

To anyone whose mom or dad turns into a mean teenager, you’re not alone. Yes this is hard, and we are resilient. And there are tools, you just have to find the right ones for this new territory.

Want some company, tune into the People in the Squeeze Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. It is like having a conversation with a good friend, sharing stories, tears and of course giggles on the insanity of this moment. Join us!